Not Everybody Is Your Assignment

I thought I was helping people, but I was slowly losing myself trying to carry them.

For the longest time, I thought everybody was my assignment.

If someone was hurting, I wanted to help. If they were struggling, I wanted to stay. If I saw potential in someone, I convinced myself that maybe God put me in their life for a reason.

But somewhere along the way, I realized something that was hard to admit — Some of those people weren’t God’s assignment for me.

They were my assignment.

There’s a difference.

Sometimes we become so attached to the idea of “saving” people that we stop asking God if we’re even supposed to be there. We confuse compassion with calling. We mistake our desire to help for God’s direction.

I’ve learned that the hard way.

There were people God was quietly trying to remove from my life, and I held on tighter. I kept praying for them, making excuses for them, checking on them, trying to carry burdens that God never asked me to carry.

Eventually, God removed them anyway.

Because when God closes a door, no amount of your loyalty can force it back open. That doesn’t mean we stop loving people, It just means we have to understand that love doesn’t always look like staying.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is this: Not everybody wants help.

You can pour into someone who has no desire to change. You can encourage them until you’re emotionally exhausted. You can keep extending your hand while they keep choosing the same path.

At some point, you have to ask yourself, why am I working harder on someone else’s healing than they are?

You can’t want freedom for someone more than they want it for themselves. & that’s not being mean.

That’s wisdom.

Jesus didn’t chase everyone. He loved everyone, but He didn’t force everyone to receive Him. Hunni, that CONVICTED ME. Because I realized I was trying to rescue people who weren’t asking to be rescued. Some people are committed to their dysfunction, some people enjoy being rescued because it keeps them from taking responsibility, & some people don’t want accountability — they just want comfort.

If we’re not careful, we’ll spend so much time trying to fix everyone else that we’ll neglect what God is actually asking us to do.

I’ve had to start praying different prayers.

Instead of saying, “God, help me save them,” I’ve started saying, “God, show me if they’re even mine to carry.” Because not every burden belongs on my shoulders, not every friendship is meant to last forever, not every relationship is meant to be restored, & not every person is my assignment.

Some people are lessons.

Some people are seasons.

Some people are simply reminders of what happens when we move ahead of God.

If you’re exhausted from constantly trying to pull people toward God while they’re running in the opposite direction, maybe it’s time to loosen your grip.

Maybe God isn’t asking you to keep chasing.

Maybe He’s asking you to trust Him enough to let go.

The people God has assigned to you won’t require you to disobey Him just to keep them.

& that’s a lesson I’m still learning.

One day at a time.