In the Quiet, I Found Me

I was sitting on the phone earlier today with a friend who shared something that made me pause.

They said, “I feel alone… and I’m in a relationship.”

Then came the part that hit me — “I don’t like being by myself. That’s why I got into this relationship. I just didn’t want to feel that void.”

Whew.

It made me think about how often we use relationships as a bandage — trying to cover something deeper: loneliness, lack of identity, a fear of sitting with ourselves. I get it. I’ve been there. But hear me out..sometimes being single is the biggest blessing you never saw coming.

I’ve been single for a little over two years now. And while it hasn’t always been easy — especially when you long for a husband, a partner, a best friend to do life with — it’s also been one of the most transformative seasons of my life.

In this time, I found me again.

I started doing things I love;

I launched a podcast.

I began setting goals that were just for me — not for a relationship, not even for my kids — but for the woman inside of me who had dreams long before anyone ever called her “mom” or “wife.”

At one point, everything was about them — my children, my spouse, our home. And don’t get me wrong, my children are still my world. But now, I include myself in that world too.

I’ve learned that being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. It can mean;

Space to breathe.

Time to heal.

Freedom to rediscover.

Clarity to prepare.

We have to stop expecting relationships to fill voids we were meant to bring to God, to therapy, to stillness. No one can complete you if you don’t know who you are yet. That’s too much pressure to put on another human.

I still desire a husband. I still believe in love.

But now I know I don’t need a relationship to feel worthy, whole, or secure. And when that love comes — because I believe it will — I’ll be ready to give from overflow, not emptiness.

So if you’re in a season of singleness right now, don’t rush it.

Don’t fill it with distractions.

Don’t settle just to avoid silence.

Use it. Grow in it.

Because wholeness is a beautiful gift — and it’s one you give to yourself first.🫶🏽